Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Great Pilgramage of 2006

On April 3, 2006, Brothers Dufrene, Whytrat, and Jon-el undertook a pilgramage to the Mecca of public toilets: the great state of Iowa. That's right, Iowa. We'll tell you why shortly, but first, a couple of things about our journey.

The Great Pilgramage of 2006 was undertaken as a spiritual journey by the Founding Fathers to return to our childhood roots in the land where we were potty trained. This journey began with a 24-hour, non-stop drive from Phoenix, Arizona to Mason City, Iowa. We had an opportunity to relieve ourselves in many different environments, climates, and settings. The highlights...

Greatest Achievement: I personally relieved myself in 5 different states in a 24-hour period; it would have been 6, but I slept through Texas.

Worst Achievement: Surviving a 24-hour drive with Brother Jon-el's seven cats in the back of the Explorer, a hands-down winner for Worst Achievement because we regretted it after about 12 hours (what a smell!!! :-P).

Best Public Facilities - Storefront: Love's truck stops, generally clean and large though not always

Worst Public Facilities - Storefront: Most Conneco truck stops, smelled bad.

Best Public Facilities - Community: Des Moines, Iowa, because they were generally open and clean.

Worst Public Facilities - Community: Winslow, Arizona, because they weren't clearly marked when I got off the freeway and neither was the one-way nature of the street I was on (no u-turns). I was so disappointed I waited until Flagstaff to pee, because the public rest stop in-between Flagstaff and Winslow ISN'T OPEN YET.

Best Public Facility Experience: Christie's Cabaret in Tempe, Arizona a few days before left; they had a bathroom attendant with really good mints and lots of naked women EVERYWHERE! I know it shouldn't count because it was before we left Az, but there were lots of naked women EVERYWHERE!

Worst Public Facility Experience: A freeway rest stop in New Mexico on the return trip to Az; only two urinals and one stall, I needed to make good poopy, and the stall was occupied for a LONG time.

Best Public Facilities Overall: the Great State of Iowa. Get this: the freeway rest areas on I-35 all have free wireless Internet!!! Winner, hands down, and this is why Iowa is the New Mecca of public facilities.

-- Brother Dufrene

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

Support This Site